Medi Hospice Fredericksburg & Northern Virginia Blog is designed to educate and inform the public about hospice options and services. Our Hospice serves the many cities and counties within the State of Virginia.

This Blog is dedicated to our wonderful hospice volunteers who contribute countless hours for free to make a difference in the lives of terminally ill patients.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Hospice Volunteering - Is it for me?

What's it like to be a hospice volunteer?

 Have you ever asked yourself this question? Were you able to find an answer that enabled you to take your inquiry a step further into action? 



As a hospice volunteer, you have the privilege of serving families at a tender time when they are saying, "I love you," "I forgive you," " thank you," and "good-bye." It's a period of closure and a time of reflection. Many patients find it helpful to talk about their lives with an objective listener. They feel free to discuss events and issues with a volunteer that it may be difficult to share with their relatives or health care providers. 


Hospice volunteers consistently describe the experience as one that is surprisingly rewarding. Below are comments typically heard from volunteers. 

Ø  "The courage of the patients, and their gratitude and concern for their family. It's amazing. And the family members! These caregivers are the unsung heroes. Their love and compassion is really very touching. The whole thing is profoundly moving."
Ø  "I've seen family members reunited after years of being apart. They realize that the grudge they were holding really wasn't all that important after all. Decades of bitterness falls away in the face of death. And to a one, they all say, 'Why did we wait so long?' It makes you realize that you don't have to wait until you're dying to forgive. What a lesson!"
Ø   "It meant so much to us to get help from hospice when my husband was sick. I decided I wanted to give back, so I became a hospice volunteer. What I didn't know at the time was how much I would get out of it, being on the giving end. It's one the best things I do."
Ø    "For me, it's a blessing to spend time with people in their last weeks of life. As my patients lose their physical abilities, they often become more spiritual. The worries of daily life are seen for what they are, insignificant. In the end, all my patients can do is become the essence of the human soul: our capacity to love. And just think, I get to witness that every week!"


In addition to visiting with patients to offer companionship, your presence as a volunteer also gives family members the opportunity for a much-needed break. The kinds of activities a volunteer might do include:

v    Offering quiet presence to a sleeping patient so a caregiver might leave the home for appointments or errands
v  Light housekeeping (dishes, laundry, meal preparation)
v  Running errands
v  Letter writing
v  Sharing hobbies or special interests


Please know that a volunteer will never be expected to do something they do not want to do. In addition, all volunteers receive extensive training and support, and there is a Volunteer Coordinator to help if you have questions or concerns.

Patient-care is not the only way to contribute. If you are interested in volunteering, but don't see yourself working with patients, we will gladly find ways to use your unique talents. Other volunteer opportunities could include things like:
v  Clerical tasks (mailings, reception, special projects, office support)
v  Helping with grief support groups
v  Staffing a table at a health fair
v  Writing condolence cards
v  Assisting at a memorial event
v  Helping with computer projects

Or, if you have a volunteer idea in mind, call us and suggest it. Volunteers around the country have come up with all kinds of ideas:
*       One volunteer set up a program helping patients to leave a video for their family members. Some use the video to reminisce about favorite memories, some tell their life story, others make it a love letter or an ethical will.
*       The employees in one workplace organized into teams that each "adopted" a family for the holidays. The teams did things like make a Christmas meal, or get a wish list from family members and then solicited donations for the gifts from local businesses.

Be creative! We'd love to work with you. If you'd like to talk more about volunteering, give us a call.


Books on volunteering

 

Dying Declarations: Notes from a Hospice Volunteer

A candid account of a volunteer's initial concern that hospice would be a depressing venue. Instead, the author tells touching stories that illustrate the uplifting and enriching nature of working with people who, at the end of life, are willing to strip away all that is unimportant and embrace their true priorities. He also gets very specific about hospice training and the ways a hospice volunteer can positively impact the patients and families they serve.

In the Midst of Life: A Hospice Volunteer's Story

In the Midst of Life is a moving, evocatively described narrative of the patients and caregivers Charles Rose encountered as a hospice volunteer. It is also a perceptive account of his own journey into the world of the dying—a journey that in the end brings him, and us, more deeply and compassionately into the transitory world of our own lives.


Lessons for the Living: Stories of Forgiveness, Gratitude and Courage at the End of Life

The author, a hospice volunteer, shares his personal journey as he cares for hospice patients and learns the simple grace of ordinary acts of daily kindness.


When Autumn Comes: Creating Compassionate Care of the Dying

Practical advice and thoughtful reflection accompany the stories presented in this book by long time hospice volunteer, Mary Jo Bennett.

When Evening Comes: The Education of a Hospice Volunteer

Through 15 stories of working with women dying of breast cancer in rural Virginia, the author traces her evolution from novice to seasoned volunteer. She talks about some of the difficulties, but also the immense rewards.



Please Note: Medi Hospice does not specifically endorse these books, but offers their information as a sample of the kinds of materials that are available.


Do you care about others with a heart of compassion?
Can you listen and hold someone’s hand gently while they struggle to speak a few words?
If you are interested in making a difference in someone’s life we will give you the training you need to become a hospice volunteer. You will become part of a worldwide hospice family that is uniquely devoted to caring for the terminally ill.





Please contact 
Medi Home Hospice Volunteer Department
 at 
540-361-7696 




Saturday, December 3, 2011

Making A Difference: Stories That Have Changed Lives

Stories from the heart bring us encouragement and uplift our spirits, helping us to remember that life is precious. Hospice volunteers are out in the homes and facility rooms of the dying every day. They give of themselves for the simple joy of knowing that the recipient has been touched by unconditional love. Volunteers have no agenda but to bring a smile to a lonely man’s face.  Whether it is a toothy grin or outright chuckle the life course has been altered. A day has been brightened. 
The life of the terminally ill is doomed to be shortened by a disease they can’t control. There are no more treatment solutions; there are no more transplants to be done; there might seem to be no hope...Yet whichever way we look, hope is always available in abundance. Hospice is all about hope; hopefulness in a future free from the agony of pain; hopefulness in quality time spent with dear loved ones and friends; hopefulness in the realization of a life well lived.
Volunteers giving of themselves to make a difference are often surprised by the blessings they receive and the experiences they encounter.  Some of these experiences are wonderful and sad simultaneously. Some of the blessings are completely unexpected. However, one thing can be certain: hospice volunteering will never be predictable.

In the following paragraphs I am going to share some real life hospice volunteer stories. After interviewing a prospective volunteer yesterday I reflected on the questions he asked me and how the answers I gave were wrapped up with a story of a real hospice volunteer experience. After working as a Volunteer Coordinator with hospice for 6 years I have many stories to tell. Here the stories are just a small sampling. May they be as blessed in the telling as they were in the living. 

Not actual cat
On a clear day in October I assigned a male volunteer to visit a man, who in his 50’s had a terminal disease that was ravaging his body. His wife, the caregiver, worked out of the home as she was unable to leave him alone. They were avid cat lovers and owned more than 6 Maine Coon cats. These were lovable kitties, but he was warned that they do not generally warm up to strangers. On his first visit, as he sat with the couple in their living room he was surrounded by the cats! They eyeballed him carefully and he ignored their presence, instead focusing on the patient. As he sat visiting and listening to the patient’s life story he felt a movement behind him and all at once a kitty was in his lap and one was beside him on the back of the couch. The lap cat purred and snuggled, while the other proceeded to sniff and lick his ear! Surrounded by these cats and not wanting to offend the couple he endured the ‘love’. They later told him that he was welcome back into their home any time and that the cats had given their seal of approval! He visited this man for many months helping him to clean out his home and garage in preparation for his death. The couple were so very thankful for their volunteer. He was thankful that the kitties approved!



Not actual trailer
The day that the patient was admitted to hospice it was clear that the volunteer assigned would need to be willing to emotionally accept the very poor conditions in which this person was living. She was a young 50 and she lived in a one room trailer with no running water or toilet. She used a bucket to relieve herself and feebly transported that bucket in a child’s wagon to the neighboring trailer where her daughter, boyfriend and grandchild lived. She owned 2 dogs and they were her babies and longtime companions. However, the dogs were not gentle and fluffy, but big and vicious – at least to a stranger. When I asked the volunteer to care for this patient she was cautious and rather apprehensive. However, the compassionate spirit of this volunteer transcended her outward fears and she agreed to visit this patient. Upon her arrival for the initial visit the 2 dogs bounded out of the trailer, barking viciously and jumping on her car. She rolled the window down ever so slightly and the patient got control of the dogs and sent them away. The volunteer was able to visit and get to know the patient. Her one room trailer was hardy bigger than her bed. She had little food and it was nearly the holidays. The volunteer suggested that they have a trip out into the city for their next visit. The patient had not been out for many months and was absolutely ecstatic at this opportunity.  As Christmas approached the volunteer discovered that her only relatives were leaving her and traveling out of state. She hatched a plan to visit the patient on Christmas Day and take her to have a meal. This was the last Christmas the patient would likely experience and the joy she felt that day was indescribable. The hospice volunteer planted seeds of encouragement and hope into the heart of this patient. A little bit of love went a very long way...



Not actual patient
The patient was estranged from her two adult children and there were no other relatives involved in her life. For the most part she was alone. After her admission to hospice she requested a volunteer. When the volunteer met the patient her heart was broken for the loneliness this elderly lady experienced was crushing. The volunteer called me and requested to visit the patient twice a week. We adjusted the visit orders on her care plan and the volunteer became like a second daughter to the patient. With the attention from the hospice staff and the great care and love they exhibited the patient actually started to thrive again. She lived for many months beyond what the doctors predicted. The hospice volunteer was integral in her care. It might be said that love saved the day yet again.



The patient had end stage dementia and was non verbal. The volunteers – a mother and her teenage daughter visited the facility as hospice volunteers. On their initial visit with the patient she was reclining back in a Jerry chair. The family had set up a CD boom box in her room because she loved music - especially Frank Sinatra. Since the chair was on wheels they thought that it might be a great idea to put on her favorite music and dance. Now dancing with a Jerry chair might seem odd but to this precious lady it was wonderful. Her eyes started to shine and a little smile crept across her face. One volunteer swayed the Jerry chair and the other volunteer danced a waltz in front of the patient. A sight to behold indeed, but for the patient it brought tears to her eyes. Do we know what she was thinking - no. Do we believe that she was remembered years gone by when she danced with her sweetheart to the tunes of old - Yes! The hospice volunteers approached their visit as an opportunity to make a demented lady happy - if only for a moment. Can we measure the joy she experienced that day? Possibly not - only her and God know for sure what she was thinking that sunny day in March, but this much we do know for certain, the hospice volunteers were willing to do whatever it took to bring a little joy into the life of a terminally ill person.

       

Do you care about others with a heart of compassion?
Can you listen and hold someone’s hand gently while they struggle to speak a few words?
If you are interested in making a difference in someone’s life we will give you the training you need to become a hospice volunteer. You will become part of a worldwide hospice family that is uniquely devoted to caring for the terminally ill.



Please contact 
Medi Home Hospice Volunteer Department
 at 
540-361-7696 



Friday, November 11, 2011

We Honor Veterans

Today is Veteran’s Day 11/11/11
We want to honor our veterans by focusing on how hospice can reach out and honor their life and legacy!
We are an NHPCO’S ‘We Honor Veterans’ partner.


We have found there are some very important things that can be done to recognize and honor Veterans in the community who are also a part of our hospice.

1) Thank them for their service, no matter how they served (combat or non combat)
2) Ask about their Legacy.

3
) Hold a veteran recognition ceremony.
4) Plan and implement an 'Escort Ceremony'

1) Thank Them: Upon a patient being admitted to Medi Hospice, our social workers or nurses ask the patient if they are a Veteran and record as much information as possible about the patient’s Veteran status.

Here’s a plan we would like to implement:After a veteran is admitted to hospice our spiritual care Chaplains could be contacted and within 24 hours or less they could visit the patient’s home and presents them with a plaque and pin - thanking them for their service.  This act of kindness could bring a lot of patients to tears of appreciation. These memorial tribute items could be it displayed at their funeral ceremony.
2) Ask about their Legacy: Currently we are talking with our patients and listening to their stories.  We honor and affirm their service to our country and to protecting the freedoms that we as Americans enjoy

Here’s a plan we would like to implement:After purchasing a recording device and after one or two visits with a patient a volunteer politely could ask if the patient wouldn't mind if he recorded their stories. If the patient agrees, the volunteer goes back to the home and sits for hours - recording the patients legacy.  With the patients' permission some of these recordings could be put on display at our local museum. Perhaps some patients might offer to lend copies of photos and documents from their childhood and war experiences -- what a wonderful way to add value to someone’s life.  We are so thankful to have such passionate volunteers who have expressed an interest in being involved in this.

3) Veteran Recognition Ceremony: This would be an event to offer public recognition to our veterans, may they be our patients, staff or volunteers.

Here’s a plan we would like to implement:In attendance at the ceremony would be staff, patients and families if they are able, veteran volunteers, families of volunteers and our local elected officials. Our local news station B101.5 and newspaper, Free Lance Star, also would be invited to attended. The event will provide media coverage and promote our mission as a We Honor Veterans partner. 

4) Escort Ceremony:  Recognizing and Honoring Patients After Death     

Here’s a plan we would like to implement:Stein Hospice in Sandusky, OH has instituted an Escort Ceremony in their Inpatient Unit to provide a method of recognizing and honoring patients after death. For those who are known to have served in a branch of the United States military service, a special Veteran ceremony is performed. Medi Hospice does not have an inpatient unit however this is something we could offer in our homes or facilities where our veteran patients reside. Although it is such a simple procedure, it has meant so much to families.  Stein is now receiving requests to use the ceremony in nursing homes and hospitals as the word has spread by those who have witnessed it.

Medi Home Hospice would like to honor and thank all of our veterans!! You are special to us and we hope that we can serve you as honorably as you have served our country!!

If you are interested in becoming a hospice volunteer, please contact the Volunteer Coordinator at Medi Hospice by calling 540-361-7696 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            540-361-7696      end_of_the_skype_highlighting

 We are currently scheduling the next training class for early 2012. We are accepting volunteer applications at this time.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Becoming a Hospice Volunteer has Changed My Life!

I have countless stories on the way Hospice has changed my life.

 by Dianne Bramer, 

Hospice Volunteer for Hospice of Holland and Spectrum,  Michigan 
   
  The appreciation for each person as an individual is probably one of the most transformations in my life since I started volunteering for Hospice. My whole outlook on life has drastically changed.  I visited a woman on a weekly basis as I was at the Hospice House and she taught me one very important lesson on our visits. It was one of the many times she was trying to make since of her life and impending death. She would tell me the same stories she had told me week after week but this week was different… She looked me straight in the eye and said, “I don’t feel like my life is over yet it is too soon for me to die I still have too much to do.” It was one of the most eye opening experiences of my life, you see, because she was 96 years old. Time stopped in that moment for me because before that moment in my life I would have thought in my head, your old it really is time for you to die. Now, I think differently. I think of her often and how she touched my life and changed me as a person. I appreciate all ages now.  It was one of those Hospice moments...


Another amazing story; I went into a room and the lady was very agitated so I sat down next to her and gently took her hand. She wanted to tell me something but it was obvious she was unable to speak but she kept trying. I stood up and looked her in the eyes and ran my hand over her hair and apologized for not being able to understand what she was trying to tell me and she settled down and fell asleep. I sat back down still holding her hand and just sat there in the quiet for a while looking at her and wondering about her life. One of the nurses came in and I told her about the patient being agitated  the nurse explained that there was always someone with her and this day had been the first day no one had been there and it was upsetting to her. I was touched that this person I had never met in my life, this person who had never met me, chose me to be the one to sit with her in what were obviously her last hours of life. The faith we put into other people, total strangers, when we are at that point in our life is something we probably won’t understand until we are in that position. It makes me wonder why we shelter ourselves from relationships like that when we are healthy. It is almost like we can’t get “to close” for some fear of being hurt. I don’t know but it is just another one of those Hospice moments that have changed my life. It is always amazing to me when a family member changes me more than a patient. I have had this happen with a few family members. It is so hard to see the pain in the eyes of the family. The genuine hurt of knowing they have to let go and trying to accept that the person they love dearly is going to be dying soon but not wanting to let go. The pain I have seen in a few of these family members who have let me into that special 

place in their heart and shared some intimate details about their loved one is something I will treasure forever. I will never forget their eyes and I will never forget how our hearts were joined together to honor the special person in their life. What a humbling Hospice moment.

There was the patient who showed so much courage. Cancer had touched her life for many years; her answer to dying? “It’s something we all have to do so why fight it?” her exact words. She was kind, funny, intelligent, and seemed to be happy. I don’t know if it was a denial thing or if she truly felt the way she spoke. I am so happy I was chosen to be able to spend some special Hospice moments with her. Her confidence will stay with me until the day I die. *I walked into a room to empty the trash in a room and a frail woman grabbed my hand and squeezed it not letting up on her grip the whole time.; Another very intimate moment for me. She began telling me about her husband and how she lost him many years ago and how hard it had been for her. I could see in her eyes as we stared at each other, still holding hands, that she was ready to go see him. Maybe I am wrong to assume that but it is amazing how when two hearts meet you can almost feel what the other wants to say without them even saying it. I hope she could feel my genuine compassion for her and that I understood the love she had for a man I hoped she would soon be with. I went home with a greater appreciation for the man I love. I try not to take him for granted as much as I use to. I treasure special moments as I always did but now I feel I have much more of my heart involved in all our special moment. What a great Hospice moment!!

My favorite moments are when I go in to see a patient and they grab my hand and ours eyes lock in a gaze that can only be shared by two people at that special moment in time. It is so hard to explain but I can just feel my heart connect with theirs. I always think about the life they lived and about their story. People are amazing and there are so many amazing life stories I have heard through Hospice patients.

Crocodile Tears; what does that mean?  Well, to me it means a life story of an amazing man.; a man who had a hard childhood and also lived as a homeless man; his choice according to him. No one forced him to be homeless. He chose to be homeless. The stories this man told me were incredible. As we sat there looking at each other he would tell me one life story and giant crocodile tears rolled out of one eye. He would let them fall and ever so gently wipe them away. Then he would go onto another story about his life and another set of those giant crocodile tears would fall from the corner of the other eye. Once again he would let them fall and ever so gently wipe them away. It was one of the most heartwarming moments of my life. As I write this I have those same tears rolling down my face. It is so hard to watch and listen to people try to make sense of what is happening to them. I will keep the picture of this man in my memory files for the rest of my life. To see a man, broken to that point just breaks my heart. A Hospice Moment I will never let go of.      

Many times there are the not so great Hospice Moments. I can remember one time I went into a patient’s room and he started to talk to me and man he really wanted to talk. Just when he really started letting out all of his frustrations a visitor came into the room. I could see in this patient’s eye that he really was not in the mood for this visit. The visitor came in and began telling jokes and the patient really needed to process all that was happening to him. I could see he was not in the mood for jokes. I told him goodbye and left him with his visitor. I was so sad when I had to leave and I could see the patient was sad about it also. I hoped after I left that he got the chance to talk to someone else so he could process all that was going on. It is so hard to watch the outside world not understand what is happening to these dying patients. Those are hard Hospice Moments for me. I feel like I am looking through life from totally different glasses than 
most people since I starting volunteering for Hospice. 

Then there are the patients God puts in your life and you just know He put them there for a reason. I have one such patient I will never forget. Her illness was very rare but she taught me so much. Listening to her helped me so much. She died very suddenly. Doing fine one week and then the next week I went and she was gone. I felt like I got hit by a truck when I was told she died that morning. I had a hard time volunteering that day because I was looking so forward to her inspiration. I was so hoping I was going to have more intimate moments with her and wanted to tell her once again how she affected my life. I know as volunteers we are not suppose to make relationships personal with our patients but there are just times that is not possible. I did tell her many times how much she affected my life and I would never forget her. The funny part she thought she was just an ordinary person doing God’s work, her words. She was and she did and I will remember her every day for the rest of my life! You see I have the same illness she suffered from. Her face is one face I see every day and I thank God for sending her into my life at just the right time. She never knew, I never told her, I was suffering from the same illness which is probably a good thing because it would have really affected her. What a wonderful lady!! Sometimes I wonder if I began Hospice just because God wanted me to spend all those weeks with her to prepare me for all that I have to go through. I don’t know but I am so thankful for her! 

 I now make it a point to appreciate so much more in my life and in the people I share my daily living. I thank more people when they do nice things for me even total strangers. What I have learned is we have one opportunity to live our lives and we need to do it the best we can. Being a Hospice volunteer has changed me and changed my life and I am so thankful for such a wonderful organization and proud to be a part of it all!!


So why is Hospice care so important?

Ø It approaches the patient as a person not a disease.
Ø It gives people dignity and respect through the dying process.
Ø It offers care for the whole person and supports the family.
Ø It promotes the concept of ‘living until you die’.
Ø It offers people the opportunity to have quality living rather than painful dying.



Volunteers are an essential part of the hospice interdisciplinary team. They are the individuals who volunteer to make a difference in the lives of the dying. They help to shape lives and they join the journeys of the living as they approach death.
If you are a caring, compassionate individual and would like to consider becoming a hospice volunteer, please call Karen Robinson, Medi Hospice Volunteer Coordinator at 540-361-7696 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            540-361-7696      end_of_the_skype_highlighting for more information.