Medi Home Hospice Chaplain Rev. Jack Marcom discusses end of life issues...

SENIORS SEEK PEACE, STRUGGLE WITH FEARS 

IT WOULD BE GOOD TO KNOW, a column about end-of-life issues by Jack Marcom

This article appeared in the Free Lance Star on April 3, 2011. Rev. Marcom addresses issues that seniors face as they struggle to deal with aging and impending death. 

These are issues that we will all face one day. I have included excerpts below. At the bottom you will find a link to the full article on Fredericksburg.com.

I HAVE ENJOYED my life working and sharing with the elderly. I have gained a lot of of insight in my recent years as a hospice chaplain and
I have come to witness firsthand the struggles that seniors have. They share with me their fears that take up their thoughts during their waking hours.

In no particular order, the following fears eat at the very existence of their wellbeing:

• Who is going to take care of me?
• Who will pay for it all?
• If I have to go into a nursing facility, will I lose everything I have?
• If I am placed in a nursing facility and someone gets medical power of attorney, will I lose control, and have no say about my care? 
•  Who will go through my things? 
• How will I die?
• Am I worthy of being received into the presence of my Supreme Being?

No one wants to suffer; we want to die in peace. This is what we hear all the time in hospice. I am often asked to pray with the patients about this issue as well. It causes our patients much stress, which exacerbates their illnesses. We cannot predict how someone may die, but we do try to make them as fearless about death as we can. 

Some patients have experienced the death of a family member or friend that was memorable to them. These deaths were uncomfortable to see, and they have not forgotten them. They can tell you every detail about this death and they do not want to die in that way.

We share a booklet with the patient and his or her family: "Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience" by Barbara Karns. The booklet tells what may be expected, beginning three months out to the very moment of death. This is
a helpful tool for families preparing for a death.

All of these issues could be dealt with in a positive way if there were talks within our families about what our parents or grandparents want for their lives during a terminal illness. Using an instrument such as "Five Wishes" can be of great help. It is recognized as a legal document in Virginia and allows the person to make his or her wishes known in writing. The document deals in five areas:

1) The person I want to make care decisions for me when I can't

2) The kind of medical treatment I want and don't want

3) How comfortable I want to be

4) How I want people to treat me

5) What I want my loved ones to know.

Copies of "Five Wishes" may be obtained by calling Medi Home Health and Hospice at 540/361-7696.

Coming to life's end is a fearful and worrisome time. It can, however, be made less troublesome if family members will deal with dying in a realistic manner. Talk about it freely and openly: That will comfort the elderly person and his or her family.
Below is the link to the full article by Rev. Marcom.

http://fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2011/042011/04032011/616569/index_html?page=1

We at Medi Home Hospice are committed to compassionate, caring physical, emotional and spiritual medical treatment. Our volunteers enhance our program to offer the patient companionship through friendly visits on a weekly basis.

If you live in the greater Fredericksburg, Virginia area and would like to know more about hospice volunteering please call the Volunteer Coordinator at:

            Medi Home Health and Hospice at 540/361-7696.